Currently listening to...

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

almost teared when the intro started playing. Better stop listening to this song.. if I listen to this while riding the motorcycle I might die...

Sigh...

Somehow it turned out that my tumblr became a place for me to write emo poems that vent out my feelings, my other blogspot ended up being a devotional blog, and this blog just became a place for me to vent out stupid frustrations...

This week I watched a korean drama called 9 End 2 Outs, a story of 2 best friends who've known each other for 30 years. It makes me sigh because I don't have any friends I've known for 20 years. It makes me sad that I have no friends who consider me close enough to come to me just to say that he/she didn't have a good day. Just to say hi and see how I'm doing and really care what I've been going through.

Sigh.. dramas are just dreams but they make me wish. =/

People seem to expect so much out of me yet nothing of themselves.

How foolish is this?

Yet I can't complain, my belief says to let it go because in the end we are all the same.

We are all the same.

But it's not the end yet, is it?

Honestly, I feel like that one person is really hard to come by.

When that person comes, I better know and not let go.

"Can anybody hear me?"

"I feel like I'm talking to myself."

To anyone who reads this anymore.

These days have been less than mediocre for me. I feel like I'm a tennis ball constantly hitting a wall and bouncing back to the same position, only to be struck again by an unknown force into the same exact wall. Just to a different spot on it.

I couldn't feel worse than to have someone spit at me. No. I suppose there is a worse feeling than that. To have someone spit at you and to have your friend let it go. That's how I feel, I suppose.

I don't really know what started this, how it developed, or why it conflicts in my psyche.

I'm a little caught up in the middle.

I don't even know if these feelings are genuine or I'm just that good at faking it that I've succeeded in fooling even myself.

These feelings are not feelings that I should have, yet these are feelings all struggles with.

But it's the same.

If it's been a problem for him, it's definitely a problem for me.

Of course, our tennis balls have hit the very same wall, just different spots.

I really feel like I'm being ridiculed by people I trust, and the trust is breaking down, and my mind is slipping around the corner.

To people who've been affected. Sorry.

But I don't know how to be normal anymore.

Monotony

When you are out of people's lives and they just live on like nothing happened.

That shows how important you were to them.

My Feelings

Sadness, I learned, is an acceptable emotion.

Jesus wept. - John 11:35

It's okay to feel sad. It's okay to grieve, to mourn, etc.

But don't let it get to you.

Remember that God is always faithful.

God is the ultimate companion, the ultimate father, caregiver,

and that he sent you friends who can rejoice in your happiness, mourn for your grievances.

It's hard to rely on friends because sometimes they fail us, but remember, we fail them too.

We are but human, and this is why we serve God.

We can't be perfect, but He is.

But friends will love you and support you. They will PRAY for you.

Ultimately, put your hope in Christ, and wait upon the LORD.

Can We Pretend That Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars?

... I could really use a wish right now. A wish right now... right now.

Why is it that this in this world all I do is whirl and dance to the beating of life and yet pleading to God I can't do anything but fall flat on my face in humility and embarrassment because in all of life's futilities I realize that He is my one and only solace, a place for me to rest from all these tests that I daily face.

But life goes on, and I live on.

Words Of My Mouth

Is neglect a sin?

What about being neglected?

I am living a neglected life.

Is this life?

That was too emo. but whatever

All Is Fair In..

It's true that you can give your all to a person,

who might also return the favor,

but is under no obligation to.

Consequences

The terrible consequences of misperception,

I would very much so like to avoid.