"Can anybody hear me?"
"I feel like I'm talking to myself."
To anyone who reads this anymore.
These days have been less than mediocre for me. I feel like I'm a tennis ball constantly hitting a wall and bouncing back to the same position, only to be struck again by an unknown force into the same exact wall. Just to a different spot on it.
I couldn't feel worse than to have someone spit at me. No. I suppose there is a worse feeling than that. To have someone spit at you and to have your friend let it go. That's how I feel, I suppose.
I don't really know what started this, how it developed, or why it conflicts in my psyche.
I'm a little caught up in the middle.
I don't even know if these feelings are genuine or I'm just that good at faking it that I've succeeded in fooling even myself.
These feelings are not feelings that I should have, yet these are feelings all struggles with.
But it's the same.
If it's been a problem for him, it's definitely a problem for me.
Of course, our tennis balls have hit the very same wall, just different spots.
I really feel like I'm being ridiculed by people I trust, and the trust is breaking down, and my mind is slipping around the corner.
To people who've been affected. Sorry.
But I don't know how to be normal anymore.
